Yesterday was hard.

Not because of Everett, but because of you.

At one point while rocking him to sleep, we were cheek to cheek and our tears melted together, smushed between our faces. He was crying out of exhaustion, I was crying out of grief.

I wanted my mother.

And in that moment as I danced in circles, bouncing and bouncing and swaying, I tried to imagine you were with me. That you were with my little boy.

Did you get to “meet” him before he came to me? On some level, in some way, in some place, in some form–did you hold this sweet sweet baby and know he would be mine?

Say yes. Say yes. Because the answer could not possibly be no.

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